Thursday, December 23, 2010

So much to be thankful for.....

I wanted to write an entry that wasn't sad but expressed how many things in this life that I am thankful for.  For example, I spent the afternoon with my parents today.  We shopped, ate, and then went to the movies.  How many kids, I mean adults, can say that they love to hang out with their parents??  Another example, Kevin has been without a job for almost 5 months now.  When he first lost his job, I didn't know how we would survive, how we could pay our mortgage, or how we would pay all of our bills. By the grace of God, we haven't missed one bill, paid our mortgage every month, and can even enjoy ourselves(like go to the movies!!!). I could go on and on with examples but you get the point.

A year ago, on Christmas day, our world would change forever. We woke up on Christmas morning not knowing how our world was going to change. I was about 5 weeks pregnant and just so thankful for all the many blessings in my life.  We went to the movies that afternoon(we like to go to the movies ;-) and by the time we got home, I knew something was not right.  We then went to the hospital to learn that I had a miscarriage. So many things raced through my mind as we(me, Kevin, and my parents) sat there and cried. I am one that needs to know answers and of course, I wanted answers right then and there. It's funny, God doesn't work that way.  He plants answers for you in your everyday life. I'll never forget the nurse that was in my room that night.  She had asked if this was my first pregnancy and I told her it was.  She then went on to tell me that she miscarried twins and another single pregnancy. She got teary(which I thought nurses never did - they are the tough ones, right!?!?!?) and simply said, "It will be ok." That was easy for her to say but she was so right, everything was going to be ok.  Even though it wasn't for awhile, everything was going to be ok.

So, a year later, I sit here on the couch feeling this little monkey kick me in all sorts of places. We have been blessed beyond measure and can't wait to meet our sweet angel. This year the meaning of being thankful takes on a whole new level.  Not only are we welcoming a baby, but my brother and sister-in-law are having a baby in 8 weeks!!  What a miracle that our family is growing by 2 in just 2 months!  We are excited beyond belief!  I can't wait to be an AUNT!!!

I hope that all of you have the merriest Christmas! Gotta get back to my wrapping and baking!!

Many blessings this Christmas season!

Much love~

Thursday, December 2, 2010

What's that you say???

....a 36" inseam like her mama???  We went to the doctor on Monday and had our 20 week ultrasound. The ultrasound tech was checking every little thing on her to make sure she is perfect(I wanted to tell her it wasn't necessary...we already know she is perfect!!)  But I let her do her job and she came across her legs.  The only thing on the screen was her femur, her knee, and then her tibia. The ultrasound tech said, "She is going to have some long legs!" Poor girl is going to have the hardest time finding pants....just like me!  Maybe I need to open a pants store for tall women that doesn't charge $100 for a pair of pants.

Anyhoo, we saw her brain, and blood running into the umbilical cord(this was so cool!), her little heart beating, her nose and mouth(to make sure she didn't have a cleft palate), and so much more. Everytime I see her on that little screen it is so surreal to me.  There is actually a little person growing inside of me....WILD! But, I wouldn't change it for the world.  Every little kick and somersault just puts a smile on my face.

That was our last ultrasound until we actually see her in person. It was a little bittersweet when it was over but that just means she will be here so soon!  We are so excited and cannot wait for our little bundle to be here. Kevin is going to a daddy boot camp with my brother in Jan....I wish the wives were invited!  But, I think that will be so good for them.  Then shortley after we will go for our birthing classes.  Everything is just coming together so perfectly.  We feel so blessed and thankful to God for this special gift!!

Here is her latest that not the cutest profile you have ever seen?!??!

Much love~

Monday, November 8, 2010

It's official!!!

There is a little princess growing inside this belly :-)

Last Wednesday, the 3rd, we scheduled a 3D ultrasound in order to find out what this little munchkin was.  We just couldn't wait until 20 weeks!  Or at least my mom and I couldn't wait!  Our appointment wasn't until 8:30PM so we had to wait allllllll day.  Probably the longest most anticipated day of my life.  I invited my parents, my grandmother, and Kevin's parents to join in the reveal. Some may think that is a little extensive but I say, "Hey, the more the merrier!" We met for dinner and then headed to the ultrasound office afterwards.

We walk into this little building with a waiting room, bathroom, ultrasound room, and an office.  It was the bare minimum to say the least but they were only there for one thing. Since we got there 30 minutes early(thanks to me), we had to wait and wait, and listen to my dad come up with some very interesting baby names. I am surprised our laughter didn't get us kicked out - we have fun no matter where we are! It was finally our turn and they walk us into the room with a 120" screen on the wall, the seating area, and the examining table.  So, I hop up on the table and at this point I am beyond ready to see my little monkey. She starts the ultrasound and there pops up the head, squirmy feet and arms, little was amazing to see.

Kevin and I have heard the HB a few times but had only seen little mac on the screen at 8 weeks(and that just looks like a blob).  So, to see an actual baby with arms, legs, and feet moving all around was such a surreal thing to see.  I couldn't get rid of that smile across my face!  Little miss thing was moving around so much that it took a little longer to find out what she was.  But, when we did there were some happy & loud people in that room!  I just knew it was a boy so when they said girl I was so shocked!  I think Kevin and I both were.  It was a moment that we will never forget.

So, since we found out that it was a girl my mom and I have been SHOPPING!!! :-) Well, more my mom than me ;-)  It so much fun to buy PINK and the clothes are just so cute!

Here is a pic of our little girl....she was waving at us the whole time. She is so friendly at such a young age ;-)

Isn't she the cutest?!?!?

Friday, October 22, 2010

Can you see it?

Here is the first pic of the little bump ;-) 15 weeks, 3 days.  I better enjoy this stage....before long I will be as big as a house! 

Thursday, October 14, 2010

The time of our lives.....

I thought that the time of our lives would be as newlyweds, but it seems as though having a baby is a tad more exciting. ;-) OR maybe it's just a period in your life that is so exciting because it is something new. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband and we have a great marriage, but planning for a baby is SO exciting!  It starts a new chapter in our life and growing our family is a feeling you can't describe.

 Last night we were sitting at the dinner table eating dinner, well, I was eating a cheeseburger and Kevin was eating pretzels and hummus.  You see, a little while after I got pregnant Kevin decided that he wanted to go on a complete healthy binge with P90X and NO junk food.  So, I think I am craving all of his junk that he isn't getting.  I don't mind and neither does little mac.  So, while he eats healthy, I eat crappy.  Don't worry; I don’t eat bad all the time...I still get all my fruits and veggies!!  I better suck it up for the next 5.5 months! Anyway, back to my story, we were sitting there eating and I said, "Isn't it wild that in a few months we will have someone else (besides our other 2 children/dogs) joining us?!?!?!"  I just can't wait to have another one throwing food at me, spitting up on me, throwing food to the dogs, and whatever else will happen.  It's just so exciting.  So, needless to say, we can't wait for the next person to join us at the dinner table other than our furry 4 legged children.  We want someone that can talk to us other than beg for food! ;-)

So, the only other exciting news is that yesterday little mac graduated to the size of an orange and he/she definitely wants to be seen.  My pants no longer button or zip and I have been walking around like I can't afford pants that fit.  SO, I got a belly band!!! If you have never heard of these they are an amazing invention.  I can now wear my pants or jeans until I am big enough to fit in maternity pants AND I can be comfortable.  Here is a pic if you have never seen one.  If you are pregnant and in a fat phase like me, get one of these.  Best investment ever.  Sorry for the partly obscene pic.

That's it for now.  We are anxiously awaiting Nov. 3rd! What do you think?  Boy or girl???

Thursday, October 7, 2010


Note to self:  Reread posts before publishing them!!!!  Along with a few mispelled words, I also got the next doctor's app. date wrong!!  We are finding out the sex on the 3rd, not the 4th!  Whoops!!!

From the beginning....

So, where do I begin?? I have never had a blog before and really my life isn't interesting enough to have one....but, I thought it would be neat for my family and friends who I don't see or talk to on an every day basis.  Oh, and you can't criticize me for spelling or grammar :-)  Well, you can, just don't tell me about it.

So, back in the fall of 2009 Kevin and I decided that it was time to expand our family. We were married in 2005 so we figured our time had come.  We saw some of our friends get pregnant and have babies and my little baby ticker was going crazy!  Kevin, not as much as me :-) So, before we knew it I had gotten pregnant.  It was in the beginning of December that we found out. To see that little plus sign on a pregnancy test is something that I can't describe.  I have imagined my whole life being a mom and now it was really happening. So, the next day I immediately told my parents, Kevin's parents, and all my girlfriends. To say I was excited was not even the right word.  It was that times 1,000.  We went on the next few weeks just blisfully happy.  Even if I had a bad day at work or something went wrong, I just thought about that little miracle growing inside my stomach and it could put a smile on my face in an instant.

On Christmas morning we woke up at my parents and went to see a movie that afternoon.  While I was sitting in the movie theatre I started getting these strange cramps that I hadn't felt before.  I thought maybe it was just gas and that it would eventually go away. Well, they just kept getting worse and after the movie I noticed that there was a little spotting.  I think my whole entire body went numb because I knew exactly what was happening.  I am not the most knowledgeable person when it comes to babies and pregnancy but I think I know the basics.  So, as we were leaving I whispered to my mom what was going on and she immediately started researching on her phone.  Kevin didn't go with us to the movies so when we got home I told him what was going on and completely broke down.  It doesn't take much for me to cry, just ask anyone that knows me well. I was just going to pretend like nothing was happening but the pain and everything else just continued to get worse. My mom insisted we go to the hospital to get checked out.

As we were driving there I just felt like I was in a dream.  When I got pregnant nothing bad was supposed to happen to me.  My mom did not have any issues with my brothers and I....I was supposed to be just like her.  Unfortunately that was not the case.  Once we got checked in, the doctor examined me and told me the words that I will never forget, "You had a miscarriage and lost the baby."  I knew right then and there that my world would be changed forever.  I have lost cats, dogs, fish, but never my own child that was growing inside my body. I felt like a piece of me died right there in that examining room.  That sounds a little dramatic but until you are in the position, you just have no idea.  Of course my world wasn't ending, but at that moment it sure felt like it.

From the point on I had to go and tell everyone the news that I thought I would never have to tell.  Most people didn't know what to say(it isn't an easy conversation to have) and then most of my family and friends just cried with me and that oddly seemed the most comforting.

I was out of work for a little over a week and I think I put on a pretty good act of "being OK".  But, deep down inside I kept asking God, "Why me?"  I don't think I will ever understand why it happened but I can definitely say that I am a stronger person because of it.  I did so much research on MC's and the possibility of being pregnant again.  I really educated myself on it and I think that actually helped not thinking about why it happened to me. If that makes any sense at all.

So, I immediately wanted to start trying to get pregnant again.  I didn't even want to wait for the 3 months(even though we did).  Of course, my nieve self thought, "I got pregnant within a month before, obviously the same thing will happen again".  WRONG!  Although it didn't take as long as some people in my mind it felt like eternity. One of my best friends sister-in-law went through the same exact thing and she suggested that I talk to her.  I thought it may be kind of strange because I had only met this person once and now I was going to be talking to her about the most traumatic this thus far in my life?!?!?!  Well, before I could even send her an email she sent me one.  It brought me to tears but was also very hopefuly.  For the next few months we emailed back and forth and it was so comforting to talk to someone that understood every feeling that I had.  She probably doesn't know what a blessing she was. So, we tried and tried every month and I was getting very frustrated.  By the middle of summer I was starting to get very nervous because it had been 5 months(which isn't even that long) but I was getting impatient.  I prayed every night about it - we just wanted to be blessed again with another baby.

So finally on August 1st, I felt that happiness that I had felt in the beginning of December.  I saw that little plus sign and almost screamed out to Kevin(although I tried to contain myself).  We both were so excited but also cautious at the same time.  We didn't want to go through the same process again so we were very careful.  We told our parents but that was it until I was about 8 weeks pregnant.  I had not gotten that far the first time so that was definitely a milestone.

Telling the rest of my family and my friends was just as joyous(if not more) than the first time. Something about being pregnant makes everyone else just as excited for you.  Such an amazing feeling!!  So, to date I have had 1 ultrasound, heard the baby's heart beat twice, and have had 2 wonderful doctors appointments.  Kevin and I feel so happy and blessed that words can't even describe.  Our little bundle is due on April 12th and that seems so far away but I know it will fly by!!!

If you read all the way to here without falling asleep or navigating to another page I am super impressed!!  I am by no means a writer(I am sure you have already decided that) but I just wanted to write it all down so I can have something to look back at.  Also, this may give hope to other people out there having trouble trying to concieve.  I know that some women have had a much harder time but no matter what your situation is, hope was always something I was seeking.

Thanks for reading and check back for updates on little mac!!  Oh, we find out the sex on Nov 4th and YES, my parents, in-laws, and grandmother will all be there.  Can you tell we are a little excited?!?!?!?!

Until next time.....I will leave you with our first picture of this little monkey....